Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize