I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i came on her dog
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
