This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
