there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
