just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
