how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
