u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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