YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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