What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
