No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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