I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I am morally bankrupt
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
