Your face is a jimmy john
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
