Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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