the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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