Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How naked do you want me to be?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
