too bad you live with your parents still
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
