I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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