Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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