I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
