Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
