its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
