my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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