Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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