i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
