if you like me you must not know who I am
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
