so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
