New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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