remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
