she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
