I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
