you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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