he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
