just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
