I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
