big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize