so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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