You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
