sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
