there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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