It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize