i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
