can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
