Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
