I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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