So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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