she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
