When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My cat gives me a boner
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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