woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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