You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I checked into jail on foursquare
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
