She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
