I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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