Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
