This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
