I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
