Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
