It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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