I CAN MOONWALK!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize