Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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