Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize