So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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