You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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