I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
