The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
