literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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