He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
