Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize