Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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