i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
