remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
