He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
