good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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