Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
